Hi Esther, thanks for sharing this. It's a brave thing to retreat, to allow the depression to play out (it has an evolutionary protective purpose) and trust (with maybe 2% of your brain onboard, but more of your heart) that the way through is the way out. Lots of love to you in those difficult moments. I've been to a similar place.
My Facebook account was hacked about a year ago and it's impossible to recover a hacked account, so I chose to stay off. I'm much happier for it, although I do sometimes miss knowing what my friends are up to. But I can always message them and meet up with them in real life.
About 3 months after I left, I decided I'd join again - specifically to see some photos that a friend had been posting about her trip around Europe - but it felt wrong. My body felt the danger signals and so I left again without interacting and will not be returning.
Thank you Thea. It's so interesting, this process of retreating and allowing. The depression was always there, it's been there for years. I'd even noticed it a few times, and done some work to heal it. But at the same time, I think I have been hiding from the full truth of it, even while acknowledging it.
Taking social media away laid it all bare. And combined with the final gasp of peri-menopause as it moves into, I believe, the last year before I will be deemed to be fully menopausal, I can't kid myself anymore. And what's more, I don't want to. Surrendering to the depression, while painful, has felt like the biggest act of self care and self compassion I have done for myself since deciding I deserved better than drowning my emotions with alcohol.
I've pondered returning to FB since the end of January, even had to change my password to be able to access Messenger on a new phone, but I deliberately changed it to one I couldn't remember, and have no desire to return at all. I know that if I go back, I'll quickly return to the numbing pretence at connection, and I know that I don't want that. And there's nothing like taking yourself away from connection with Facebook 'friends' to see just how many of them are really friends. It's focused my attention on the relationships that truly matter, and there's so much healing just in that!
I'm glad though, that we connected there, and are now connected here, and I look forward to getting to know you here, probably far better than we ever would have on FB!
Hi Esther, thanks for sharing this. It's a brave thing to retreat, to allow the depression to play out (it has an evolutionary protective purpose) and trust (with maybe 2% of your brain onboard, but more of your heart) that the way through is the way out. Lots of love to you in those difficult moments. I've been to a similar place.
My Facebook account was hacked about a year ago and it's impossible to recover a hacked account, so I chose to stay off. I'm much happier for it, although I do sometimes miss knowing what my friends are up to. But I can always message them and meet up with them in real life.
About 3 months after I left, I decided I'd join again - specifically to see some photos that a friend had been posting about her trip around Europe - but it felt wrong. My body felt the danger signals and so I left again without interacting and will not be returning.
Thank you Thea. It's so interesting, this process of retreating and allowing. The depression was always there, it's been there for years. I'd even noticed it a few times, and done some work to heal it. But at the same time, I think I have been hiding from the full truth of it, even while acknowledging it.
Taking social media away laid it all bare. And combined with the final gasp of peri-menopause as it moves into, I believe, the last year before I will be deemed to be fully menopausal, I can't kid myself anymore. And what's more, I don't want to. Surrendering to the depression, while painful, has felt like the biggest act of self care and self compassion I have done for myself since deciding I deserved better than drowning my emotions with alcohol.
I've pondered returning to FB since the end of January, even had to change my password to be able to access Messenger on a new phone, but I deliberately changed it to one I couldn't remember, and have no desire to return at all. I know that if I go back, I'll quickly return to the numbing pretence at connection, and I know that I don't want that. And there's nothing like taking yourself away from connection with Facebook 'friends' to see just how many of them are really friends. It's focused my attention on the relationships that truly matter, and there's so much healing just in that!
I'm glad though, that we connected there, and are now connected here, and I look forward to getting to know you here, probably far better than we ever would have on FB!